Nastasha: Welcome to Exploring Filipino Kitchens. I'm your host, Nastasha Alli.
Chatting with today's guest was everything I love about doing this podcast. I mean, maybe it's because I first met Budgie six years ago in London at a popup he hosted where there was so many people, and I guess it was at the height of me realizing that like, damn, this is all gonna go somewhere. This love that we collectively have for the food and the culture and maybe it's because more simply, we also relate with each other's experiences a lot, which I guess is a large part of being a chef and being in the industry. You gotta know how to translate things like words, ideas, and concepts onto a plate while keeping everything else in the ecosystem, in your mind, like where and how to source ingredients and whether people are paid fairly or how to get people in the door, which is obviously a huge part of having any endeavor around food. And on a personal level, are we doing justice and expressing the best and what feels like the truest form of our art in the culinary, and at least to me in a spiritual sense?
Ferdinand or Budgie Montoya is based in the UK and we caught up during his last few weeks in El Nido Palawan. We're talking about a guest chef project that he was working on, and our experiences as balikbayans and the breadth of our cuisine. That's kind of really hard to grasp sometimes. And inescapably, you know, the realities of the Philippines and what it's like to be there.
Budgie feels a lot, and I do too. And I think for people who are driven, which a lot of us are, admitting that we still feel like outsiders isn't easy, and I think it's special to find and create these spaces for us to feel at home, to be who we are, in however way we can. So let's get to it.
Intro
Budgie: Hi everyone. My name is Budgie Montoya. I was born in the Philippines, Davao, but raised in Sydney in Australia. And I'm now based in London. I'm a chef for the most part. And I guess my work in the last few years has been, sort of about reconnecting with my Filipino roots through the avenue of food. You know, I guess talking about what it means to me, sharing it with others and, and the way it makes me feel. And I guess it's been sort of a real personal project.
I've had a couple of restaurants, popups, you know, supper clubs that turned into popups, that turned into restaurants. Sarap was probably my crowning glory, I suppose in terms of, of restaurants. And then I had most recently Apoy, which was a sort of, uh, more casual street food concept, focusing on fire, apoy, you know, barbecue skewers and things like that.
But I guess now I'm doing a sort of a mix of projects, doing mainly consulting. Dabbling in a little bit of writing, as a form of expression, as I no longer have the restaurant to sort of express myself through the food. So yeah, certainly doing a few projects between the UK currently in Palawan, in El Nido for a chef takeover program, project I should say.
Um, yeah, I think that's pretty much where I'm at without going into full detail of everything really.
Nastasha: It's good
Budgie: That sums it all up.
Getting to El Nido
Nastasha: May I ask how you got to working on this project in El Nido? Was it through a connection back in the UK or someone you met while traveling in the Philippines?
Budgie: Yeah. it's one of those full circle moments really, I think. Um, so the project came about, through a friend of mine who essentially I met when they came and ate at my popup in Soho at a pub called, The Sun & 13 Cantons. I had Sarap before I opened the restaurant. I had the popup there.
And he came with his wife, his fiance then, and, so that's where I met them. And. I kind of grew some friendship over the years after that. And in 2020, when I opened Sarap , I needed some advice, operational type advice.
And Steve, who is the CEO and founder of Neighbours and Nomads, which is where I'm now in El Nido, was at the time, an operations manager for a large chain in the uk, so quite knowledgeable in terms of operations and hospitality and whatnot. So I sort of came to him with some questions and things led to one thing led to another, and we've become friends over the years.
He's become a valuable mentor and valuable friend and business advisor and all those things. And, um he came to El Nido, to get married, to his fiance. And I guess they fell in love with El Nido and decided to stay, I think it was supposed to be a, you know, 50 50 thing where they spend time here and in the uk, but they've decided to set up roots here.
She's Filipina, and he's British. So yeah, that's how the project came about. I came here in, October with my family last year. And they were building Neighbours and Nomads at the time.
Kitchen takeover
Budgie: We visited Steve, and Kate and they kind of showed us around and we had this, back and forth conversation about doing some sort of project around, chef takeovers.
And for me it was kind of a way to try and cook in the Philippines, I think. And I kind of tried to figure out a way to sort of fit that in the narrative and go from there. And I think that's kind of where the project sort of started
Early, early 2024 when we had the idea to build this, coworking space. The first sort dedicated coworking space in El Nido. And it's got a cafe and a bar, in there, so it was one of those things where, what else could they do with the space?
Nastasha: Mm-hmm.
Budgie: And have something that was cool and fun and engaging for the community, that they're trying to build here.
Nastasha: This may be a loaded question, but what's your experience been like there? Is this the first time that you've stayed in one spot in the Philippines. Not just for like vacation, but also kind of working on like projects and stuff.
Budgie: Yeah, this is the first time I've, I mean, it's the longest place I've stayed in the Philippines. Um,
Nastasha: Not a bad place to stay for long.
Budgie: No, no, here for a month now. Just under a month actually. I was, I went to extend my visa right now, just before this, and I was freaking out. 'cause my visa supposed to expire on the fifth.
And, um, I didn't even realize, but on my entry they put me on the Balikbayan Visa, which is year. So I
out. I freaked out for no reason. Um, and I was, I was applying for it and it kept coming back with a error saying, invalid, invalid. I'm freaking out.
Nastasha: Oh,
Budgie: I realized that.
So yeah, I've been here for a month now. And eyeopening is, is certainly a good, way to describe it. Obviously I've spent some time in Manila. I did a popup, through Don Papa last year in Manila with an established restaurant there and, you know, supply chains and, I guess relationships that had already been built, in these places.
And it was very much, a whatever I need, speak to the restaurant and they'll get it for me. And, and I didn't have to worry about it. Right. Where it's a very different, process here where, uh, I'm certainly the outsider, um, trying to come in and into a community that has, obviously a very tourist led
Nastasha: Mm-hmm.
Budgie: economy.
El Nido's reality
Budgie: Restaurants here are very much geared towards that. I mean, there's everything from Japanese to Italian to Filipino to everything in this one of, you know, it's one of those places. Um, but supply chains here are non-existent.
Nastasha: Mm-hmm.
Budgie: And so trying to sort of figure out like, one, a menu, and two, trying to figure out a base of products or ingredients that I can showcase for the other visiting chefs that I wanna try and bring on through this, guest chef program.
Trying to build that ladder, so to speak of produce has been a difficult thing. I think. Everything here is built on a handshake and, uh, the who knows who,
Nastasha: Exactly.
Budgie: It's very much a, meet this person who will then lead you to another person who will lead you to another person. Or won't.
It depends on your vibe and your conversation with that person. So yeah, it's been a really eyeopening experience. It's really sort of helped me to check my privilege a little bit. I've coming into this town thinking, you know, here I am, international sort of chef, people will kind of wanna work with me and this and that.
And actually that means nothing to these people. You know, it means nothing to, to the locals. It means nothing to the local economy. It's all about building those relationships and trying to sort of not be that fly in and fly out type.
Nastasha: Yeah.
Guest chef program
Budgie: Chef and actually try and build something. And that's what we're trying to do with this guest chef program is the idea is that we build a program to bring chefs from across the world and local, not just Palawan, but also the rest of the Philippines.
Nastasha: Rest of the country. Yeah.
Budgie: To come here and tell their stories through the lens of Palawan and El Nido and whatever challenges that brings, you know, in terms of ingredients and in terms of the kitchen and things like that.
So I think it's taught me to obviously think even more creatively than normal and be part of something that is organic in terms of growth.
Nastasha: It's really the kind of thing that'll keep you on your toes, eh.
Budgie: Yeah, definitely. Like I said to you, it's really sort of, one made me appreciate what I do have in terms of, you know, the supply chains that I have in London. If I forget something or you know, an order missed, I can pick up the phone and have something with me, a replacement in a couple of hours. Right. And it doesn't work like that here. It's, you know.
Nastasha: Different environment.
Sourcing duck
Budgie: I'll give you an example on my first takeover, there was supposed to be itik, which is the local duck. And our middleman essentially, she was like, yeah, I've got a farm that can supply it.
No problem, with supply, no issues. So it was supposed to come on the Monday. My event was on the Friday and then the Tuesday came and they were like, yeah, no problems. We're gonna pick it up on Tuesday and we'll prepare them on Wednesday and then we'll have it to you on Wednesday night. Wednesday night comes along and I'm like, Hmm, still not here.
Thursday comes along.
Nastasha: Oh boy.
Budgie: Well Wednesday night comes along, and it wasn't there. And then Thursday morning I get a message saying, suppliers aren't responding. Not sure. I don't think we're gonna be able to get you the ducks. And I was like, it's the day before the event. So literally, I mean we use the power of Facebook in the Philippines.
Nastasha: So true.
Budgie: And the local sort of network here, they've got like a local sort of marketplace thing here, and
Nastasha: Did you, did you hop on the back of a motorbike to go meet someone somewhere?
Budgie: Oh God. I, yes, I did do that for, uh, chocolate, also the back of a truck for another thing. But yeah, and eventually we came across a whole bunch of people and we were able to get ducks, but, you know, three from here, four from there. Not ideal. We spent eight hours, preparing the duck from live to cooking.
Which again is another experience that I wasn't expecting to have. But a good experience nonetheless, but also a real sort of indication of the fragility of the supply chain here.
Unless it's in your hands you have, you see it personally
Nastasha: In front of you. Yeah,
Budgie: in front of you, then it may or may not happen.
B-Spending time in El Nido
Nastasha: To me, some of the experiences that stick the most from these types of stays in the Philippines where you're kind of doing something and not just like, you know, vacationing and hanging out on the beach all day, is that you do get a lot of insight into the local environment, into the local community, how things work, et cetera.
And I guess kind of just like sharing a bit of like some of my experiences that, one of the first things that was like, oh crap, like I'm really not, you know, in my environment or in my world anymore, even though I am, is with regard to like arranging tours and traveling.
I'm used to, you know, if we have a tour, for example, and we say pickup's gonna be at 8:00 AM you know, you're gonna be in a van with like 10 other people for this trip, and you're going to this place, this place, and this place, you're gonna stop
Budgie: I know where is going. I know exactly where this is going.
Nastasha: And you know, you'll be home by like 5:00 PM so that you can catch your next bus going on to wherever. So I mean, I knew from like my childhood in the Philippines that, you know, timetables are, they're not, followed in the Philippines for a variety of reasons.
Budgie: Yeah.
Food tour dreams
Nastasha: But I mean, when I first got to the Philippines in 2022, a big part of my personal kind of, you know, project was that I wanted to see what the feasibility is of operating food focused tours.
And that's still one of my, you know, kind of overall life goals. Like, I would love to work with folks like yourself and, you know, others in the community who kind of see, really see that value in being able to take people to these places that have landscapes, like great people, great communities, fantastic food when you're able to like deliver it to people.
But of course that comes with a lot of its challenges. And myself too, at the time, I knew I was, you know, gonna be one of those kind of parachuting people. I'm like, oh, I came in thinking I could, you know, maybe share a lot of my experience with some of the local tour operators and give my feedback on like, you know, product development and the guest experience and all that kind of stuff.
Right. Then you're really, you know, the longer you're there and the more you see what happens on a daily basis, you. Yeah. I got so humbled.
Ebb and flow of the islands
Budgie: Yeah, I think there's a certain ebb and flow, within the islands, especially here in El Nido. That, I mean, for me it was, I came in here thinking, not a problem. I've got some experience I'm sure people will be interested in my experiences. And, maybe from there we can create some efficiencies, right? Um, no one cares , not in a facetious or in a bad way. It's just that.
Nastasha: Everyone's got their own shit to deal with.
Budgie: That's not part of the ebb and flow of this community or this system or this thing. And at the end of the day, that's just not how it works.
You can have as much vision as you like, but you know, these things take time, change takes time. Everything takes time in the Philippines, right? In the Philippines in general, with the exception, I would say Manila, Manila moves extremely fast. But I would say that in Palawan and in El Nido, you know, you can drive 10 minutes and there's no road. It's still being developed. There's obviously where the beaches are and the resorts are, there's plenty of infrastructure, and all those things.
But even from like the highway to get to that beach or to that resort, sometimes there's literally no concrete on the road or there's no tarmac.
Online maps
Budgie: Like, you know. I also highly recommend, did not listen to Google Maps. I got myself stuck, in a very precarious, uh.
Nastasha: Oh, no
Budgie: Situation with my rental car and, yeah, needless to say.
I needed a little help to tow me out precarious situation.
Nastasha: Oh no
Budgie: Yeah , Google Maps told me to go down a closed road and then the closed road sign was being covered by cinder block, sort of bricks that were being used for a building site next to that road.
So, like, I obviously went into
Nastasha: drove
Budgie: Google Maps told me to didn't see this humongous sign because it was being covered by, these
Nastasha: bricks?
Budgie: And yeah, I was ambitious. So to speak and all. It was only because like, I wanted to check out this,
Nastasha: Yeah. Cool Spot.
Budgie: To check out this karinderya.
Basically there was, it was like I had really good reviews. People were telling me about it. Turns out the only way I can get down get to that town is either walk there or get, a tuk tuk , directly on the sea front. So, yeah, lesson there.
Nastasha: It's all an, it's all an adventure, but at the same time, I like, it's what I love about the country too is that there really is this sense of adventure. There's this sense of, there are millions of people around, but still, like, I like to think really does have something for everybody and especially for people who are very interested in food and experiencing culture through food. Like, you know.
Budgie: This place is amazing. I can't praise it enough. It's such a beautiful part of the world. Really, really
Nastasha: really is, isn't it? I
Budgie: Yeah.
Nastasha: It's, um,
Budgie: The sea, the cliffs. There's, oh man,
Nastasha: the color of the water for me
Budgie: oh my God. like, I mean, I can have a coffee or a juice and read my book and then look out into the turqouise, I dunno how to pronounce that, that very blue sea and, it's just, yeah, it's essentially a postcard everywhere you look.
Nastasha: Mm-hmm. It is, and it's making me miss everything. But such is life, you know, we find our meaning in it and, it's the experiences along the way that really shape us. Um one of the things I wanted to ask you is around kind of your maybe approach is one way to put it. With your collective experiences, like how do you see yourself in this space of building and strengthening communities around Filipino food particularly?
Budgie: It's certainly a work in progress. I think for me to think any other way is, it would be naive of me to think that, you know, I certainly don't label myself as an expert in any way, shape, or form. And I think that's, something that I'm adamant that I'm a student in the cuisine.
Diasporic returns
Budgie: In the culture, you know? And I guess the more I learn, the more I, unravel internally as well. I think there's a lot of, and I'm sure you can relate, but I guess for a lot of people in the diaspora, there's a lot of things to unpack as you move closer to, I guess going back to your roots.
There's also a lot of trauma and, a lot of things that need to be unpacked for you to progress and move forward. And it's one of those life lessons where, you can't skip a lesson. Right. And I think, that forms very much the basis of how I interact with the community.
It really depends on where I am at the stage of processing where I am. You know, there was a point where I was very much gungho, very stubborn and very like, this is it. This is like, you know, spell it correctly, use it correctly, do this. You know, that's not Filipino or it's Filipino and to a point where I'm now where certain experiences and certain things sort of take you through it. And actually as much as I would like to say that, I'm decolonizing myself, and trying to take on that journey, I also have to remember that the privileges I have came through the colonization process and those things.
So, I feel like sometimes I live a constant oxymoron. You know, a constant push and pull of identity, constant push and pull, of responsibility.
And I guess for me, when it comes to forming communities, and working with the communities, I think the main thing now for me is collaboration.
Food and detachment
Budgie: You know, we talk about the beautiful words like that, bayanihan. And actually, as a concept, it's ultimately where we are from.
But I, feel like we are so detached from that, especially in the diaspora. I feel.
Nastasha: Mm-hmm.
Budgie: Here, obviously it's a little bit different, but I really feel like in the diaspora, it's sometimes very disconnected. And more competitive than it is collaborative.
You know, sometimes when I try and collaborate or sometimes when I try and speak, it's seen as combative or , competitive and, actually it comes from a place of how do we move forward and how do we showcase our stories collectively and how do we, share a space that I feel like there's enough room
Nastasha: And nurture other people too,
Budgie: Yeah. You know, and then , that's for me, I think, food has always been a way to connect and it's always been a way to come together.
It is so a part of our identity, it's about family. It's about, you know, it's certainly the love language of most Filipinos that I know. you know, that , it's about the food, right? So I would love to see more collaboration, between Filipino chefs, creatives, community essentially in the UK.
And less of the
Nastasha: Less barriers.
Budgie: And I think we are, , don't get me wrong, I think, we're making progress. We're certainly doing that. And , everyone is trying to find their space and I get, but I just feel like together, we can progress. It's very cliche, but I feel like together , we can achieve more.
And if we embody that sort of bayanihan spirit, within our own communities, I certainly see that more here, than back home in London. It's certainly been very eye-opening, you know.
Rediscovering your way
Nastasha: So my experience of like, you've talked about this as well earlier, reconnecting with your roots and rediscovering yourself and understanding, that food is such a large part of our identity, whether it's because, you know, you just really love food or, you grew up in a house where your family's love language really was cooking and food.
Like, there are so many different avenues for that to come, into people's lives and be such a big part of who they are eventually as people. And in the Philippines it is like, I almost feel like we do take it for granted. People, whether we are, in the diaspora or in the country itself, that, food is like a, an anchor to kind of who we are because of the ways that it interacts with family and, you know.
Family mostly really because that's the people who we have around us, right? People who we work with, we grow up with. And then eventually, you build your own families, whether that's work or your partner and yeah. All this other stuff, right? Um, but, yeah, that discovery and that connection, our desire to be a part of the wider world happens a lot through food. And whether that's, being at a dinner with other people, serving people at a restaurant or a pop-up, going to a market and like, in your case, meeting these people who could give you one or two ducks at a time.
Like all these are little ways, you know, that we build that community and what I was getting to with this was that, yeah, like it was kind of weird at the beginning to describe, you know, to talk so much about why we have this deep relationship with the cuisine, but really one of the things that I've enjoyed over time is getting to talk to other people who, who get that it's not weird to talk about our relationship to the food because it is so integral to like, who we are, not just like in our, day jobs or whatever, but because of, you know, it builds you as a person.
Budgie: Yeah. I mean, as I said earlier , my Tagalog is horrible and my Bisaya is even worse. And it's not for the lack of trying. I, spent a lot of money trying to learn, with tutors, and apps, and my brain just doesn't function in that way.
You know, it's really, it's annoying actually. My, wife will, listen in on a lesson and she'll pick up everything and I'll close, the laptop after the lesson and she'll ask, what did you learn? And my brain will go blank and she will remember , what the lesson was about.
And I've completely forgotten. You know, it's just the way my brain works. And
so for me, my stomach is the most Filipino thing I have. Right. It's my strongest connection to the Philippines. It's actually, there's a quote that I often go to. And it was on a paper that I read. I thought it was, Doreen Fernandez, but it's actually, Carmen Guerrero Nakpil, I think it.
Nastasha: Yep. Mm-hmm.
Gastronomically Filipino
Budgie: And it's, let me remember if I can, remember it. It's, a Filipino may de nationalize himself, but not his stomach. He may travel over the seven seas, the five continents, the two hemispheres and lose the savour of home.
Forget his identity and believe himself a citizen of the world. But he remains gastronomically, at least always a Filipino. And to me that is probably the most emotional quote that I could think of. And probably the most connected quote I could think of, you know, um, my journey home has been through food. So I think that's kind of, for me, the importance , of Filipino cuisine. You know, I think especially in the diaspora or OFWs, you know, food is intrinsically attached to memory. Like, I've seen people cry when they have, a kare-kare or, an inasal, whatever it is. I've seen people cry because it's brought them back to a time and place, you know? And that's so powerful.
B-Cooking through memory and experience
Budgie: I cook very much through memory and I've cooked very much through experience and that is very personal and that is, very different to everyone else. But where I think we have those moments of aha and emotional moments is when people can find the commonality in experiences.
Right? And that is when you come and eat the food that I cook, that's kind of what I am trying to evoke is not the memory of your Lola's cooking. It's the commonality of our experiences. That's what it is.
I was listening to your last episode with Nicole, who I admire very much.
And, you know, uh, I think she's an absolute, hero and what she's done for the cuisine, is unquestionable. Yeah. Uh, unquestionably monumental,
Nastasha: Yeah.
Budgie: But it was, also hard to listen to at, first. I'm a very introspective person where I, will listen to something and I have to stop myself from reacting.
I need to process things because I'm quite an emotional and very shoot from the hip kind of person. So I have to find myself to not do. And, you know, there was some, stuff that she said, that felt like, when I think about it, you know, I'm thinking, oh wow, this, she's talking about me. Like this is, you know, talking about how does it need to be elevated or does it need to be fine dining or we're not.
Nastasha: Mm-hmm.
Current state in the UK
Budgie: I almost took it as a personal attack at some point, but after introspection and after sort of listening to her , and listening to, again, processing it and looking at it , from the perspective of where we are at in the UK you know, with Filipino cuisine, she's, a hundred percent right.
You know, is Filipino cuisine really making waves or is it because I'm in that world that there's more stuff coming up in my socials,
Nastasha: Yeah,
Budgie: I'm in that network. So,
Nastasha: We are in a bubble in that
Budgie: there's more. But actually, is the average Londoner gonna know anything about Filipino food?
Probably not. Like, more than likely not. And I think that was, kind of the moment for me when, I re-listened to it and, I believe that everyone should be able to freely express themselves, in whatever craft that they do.
I certainly feel like, from sort of classic or authentic or personal takes and, and my cooking. I like to straddle somewhere in the middle, respectfully in the middle.
Fine dining background
Budgie: But I also, sometimes I think there's a way I like to eat and there's a way I like to cook are two different
Nastasha: So sometimes not all the same. Yeah.
Budgie: They're not, they really aren't. Like I love, I.
Nastasha: So what's an example of like something you love to cook, but maybe not necessarily love to eat and vice versa?
Budgie: I mean, I, I love to cook with a little bit more finesse and I love to cook for lack of a better word, fine dining. I certainly, don't feel that it's fine dining, but let's call it fine dining for this perspective. That's professionally, I guess for me, a showcase of skill, understanding, your craft and all those things. Right , also paying homage to the people , that have spent time training me and, you know, put their time and effort to give me the skills that I have. Can I afford eating out like that all the time? No. Do I eat with my hands? And do I, prefer chicken adobo or, chicken inasal? Yes, of course I do. That's comfort.
That's, what I eat every day. So can I cook that way? Yes, I can. Do I want to cook that way? No. No, I don't because it doesn't feel authentic to me in terms of the way I, where I cook and I guess kind of where it felt like an attack a little bit from, that context of, I'm not doing this out of trying to be rebellious or I think we should do this, or I'm trying to elevate our cuisine.
No , I'm just trying to be authentic and I'm trying to create and cook the way I feel. And it's always, you know, whether you wanna call it Filipino or not, at the end of the day, it will always, always be rooted in memory of the Philippines.
Nastasha: Place and, culture and time. Yeah.
Budgie: You can't take that away from me. You know? And whether you agree with it or not,
Nastasha: that's just a fact, you know?
Budgie: That's what it is. Right? What makes it Filipino? I'm Filipino.
Nastasha: Exactly. And this was part of what I was talking with Nicole, about as well, is that even if we just look at the last like 10 years, like the conversation on Filipino food obviously , has changed. But not just the conversation, it's how we as members of the diaspora in the food world specifically, you know, approach it too, that, the competition thing you were talking about earlier, does have a lot to do with, unpacking a lot of these internalized traumas and, you know , it's unpacking and unlearning a lot, and I feel like
I had to understand
Budgie: totally relate.
Nastasha: why I was reacting a certain way.
Because, and I'll be honest about it too, like,
it's a whole thing around, you know, imposter syndrome and it's crazy that, you know, I'm pretty much 40 now and I still feel it.
It's not a thing
Budgie: I'm 43 and I, live through imposter syndrome Every day
Nastasha: right? It's not like, you know, it's something that is so kind of, it's there.
Budgie: I, wake up with imposter syndrome. And I don't mean that in any way other than that's what I do, I literally pinch myself and have to remind myself that I deserve to be in the space that I am.
Nastasha: So where I was getting with all of this is that what finally, changed my mind and, drew me back to just doing it was really just understanding that truly we all have space in this world, right? Like technology is no longer a barrier, let's be honest. Like everybody, even in the Philippines has a cell phone.
Anybody can start a podcast. Like
Budgie: yeah.
Nastasha: But understanding that, yes, you do have a voice. Yes, you have a space, and yes, your experience. Because I kind of also felt like, you know, maybe I had to defend my experience or, you know, defend how, in my case, like I'm not a chef.
I've never worked in a professional kitchen. I love to cook at home. But like a lot of the times too, there was also what I was feeling was a bit of a deterrent to people talking to me is that I don't have professional kitchen experience when I'm talking about food. But yeah, it's just like what you're talking about earlier.
And this all just kind of surfaced a lot of these like feelings and thoughts that I've personally had in that you know, understanding the feeling firstly that, you know, maybe this isn't the right space for me, but like really we all have a space and. In reality, all of our experiences really do matter because they all, we are Filipino, and that makes us, you know, well positioned to talk about and cook Filipino food, period.
Identity and food journeys
Budgie: Yeah, I mean, it's been a rollercoaster, you know, finding my identity through food. It really has been and, I always find myself getting a little choked up every now and then. Even when I, did my dinner here, the process was so emotional
Nastasha: Mm-hmm.
Budgie: and so, introspective. Like you really have to sort of dig deep internally in order to process things
Nastasha: Vocalize and visualize
Budgie: yeah.
And so, like, exactly. And so when everyone, says, oh, tell us a bit about your story, or Tell us a little bit about why you're cooking this dinner, or, you know, the inspiration of this. And
Nastasha: Mm-hmm.
Budgie: every time someone asks that question, it just brings me back through all those emotions, you know?
And so it's not a simple question.
Nastasha: It's not a simple question.
Budgie: You know, it's a beautiful process. It's a painful process. A joyful process. It's all the emotions, in one, you know. And I think that's, where, especially when talking about that sort of competitiveness and that, imposter syndrome I totally felt that like, 'cause it was, you know, I didn't grow up in London.
So , a few of these chefs, and industry people , they grew up in London, so they kind of known each other for years. So maybe there is a community and I'm just not a part of that, and again, it's part of like trying to find your space. And , we all have a space, but maybe it's our Filipinoness in us that makes us want to be, we're people pleasers, right? That's, who we're, that's, another part of the Filipino identity, right?
Nastasha: yeah,
Budgie: And I think when we're not in that place of pleasing people, or that sort of thing, you kind of question yourself , what am I doing
Nastasha: I doing?
Budgie: Yeah. What am I doing wrong? How can I, make people happy and, all those things. So, yeah, it's weird. It's weird.
Nastasha: Yeah.
Budgie: Yeah. The, the word decolonizing or the process of decolonizing gets thrown around a lot.
I just, I think people don't understand or don't talk about enough the actual emotional toll it takes to decolonize yourself and do you really even truly, truly decolonize yourself.
Nastasha: And where are you with that process? Because it, it happens for different people at different times, right? at
Budgie: yeah. Different pace.
Nastasha: Different pace. Yeah.
Budgie: yeah. You know,
Nastasha: Different time of life.
Budgie: yeah. Yeah, so, I always love talking to, like-minded people and you know, and, never from a place of judgment, but always from a place of, I guess empathy and, knowing that our faces are different, but, our stories are similar and common. Millions of us.
Nastasha: Millions, really. Is there a kind of like a style of cooking or region of the Philippines that you'd like to learn more of? Um, maybe that's something you're just gonna start thinking about as you kind of wrap up this leg of your Philippines trip.
Budgie: Yeah. I know so little about Filipino cuisine, like my visit here has even cemented that. Even, even more of, actually how little of the cuisine. I know. You know, when you scratch, below the surface of that Filipino cuisine in the diaspora is mainly like
Nastasha: Tagalog food.
Budgie: Yeah. Tagalog. That's what it is. Right. And, you know, I'm here working with an Ilonggo head chef. And everything he does, he finds a way to relate to Ilonggo cuisine because that's how his brain works, right?
And, that's how his flavors are, I think. So it's, like the regionality of our cuisine is so diverse and so underrepresented globally. I think that's, the thing.
Mindanao and Indonesian cuisine
Budgie: But to answer your question, I'm very, very fascinated and, wanna learn so much more about. Muslim cuisine, especially , all the beautiful food from Mindanao that doesn't really get talked about enough. We've only really scratched the surface of, Tagalog food. What else is there?
So, you know, my wife is, of Indonesian background. And so there's a lot of similarities in that cuisine. I grew up. Eating, in their household. So my love for Indonesian cuisine is very strong. Uh, and, I probably have more, I guess formative memories of Indonesian cuisine than I do of Filipino cuisine, purely because I guess, you know, I met my wife, well, we were high school sweethearts, so I met her when we were 16, right?
So I've kind of grown
Nastasha: Mm-hmm.
Budgie: at their dinner table, you know. So that's kind of really, a cuisine that I love and, understand, and I feel like there's a lot of connection with, Mindanao cuisine or , the Muslim cuisine there. So that's really fascinating for me.
And I guess I look at it from a London perspective as I'm always trying, not that I'm always trying to commercialize things but if I look at it from a commercial aspect, I think one Malaysian cuisine I would say it's more known or understood, in London than it's, Filipino cuisine.
The other thing as well, is British people have a weird thing with rice and not having some sort of sauce on it, it's like it was really hard for people to understand skewers with rice. They're like, where's the sauce? I'd give them some sawsawan and, they're like, so do I put that on the rice? And I'm like, no, no, no. That's like a dipping sauce.
Nastasha: You put yeah.
Budgie: it's, it's dry. I'm like, well, not really. I guess it is in the sense that there's no sauce on your rice, but nothing's dry. So there's that concept of, curry or that sauce or that thing to put in your rice, right. And I feel like that cuisine lends itself more to that,
Nastasha: Mm-hmm.
Budgie: aspect. So from a commercial perspective, I think that might find some way. But also, one thing I wanna also say is that , when we cook in the diaspora, we have two very distinct, customers. Filipinos.
And non Filipinos, and they both expect two very different things. And trying to find a balance between the two is sometimes impossible. So if I was to do a , sort of Mindanao based restaurant in London and call it Filipino cuisine, how many Filipinos would come up to me and say, this isn't Filipino food.
Nastasha: Mm-hmm. That's another conversation.
Budgie: That's another two hours.
Nastasha: There are more than one hour. Yeah.
B-Guest chef project
Budgie: I feel like, I've been rambling on, but I haven't really spoken about the, project. So I'm here in El Nido, working with the team at Neighbours and Nomads, which is the first dedicated, co-working space here in El Nido. In the space they have a cafe and, a rooftop bar. And , one of the things that they wanted to do was, work with the community, hence neighbors and neighbors. Not just digital nomads, but neighbors in the locals as well. So , they asked me to come in and , essentially create a chef takeover series, that allows I guess chefs from around the world and locally to come to El Nido and share their story, through the ingredients and, the food here in El Nido. So yeah, it's a residency program. This is the pilot program. There's myself, we've got a local, Ukrainian, couple that have, been in El Nido for many years. They've got their own brewery and, cafe, sports bar. And we're sort of curating their space here for a, Ukrainian menu, which is amazing. Ukrainian flavors with Filipino ingredients. And then I've got, a Michelin Green Star Chef, by the name of Ivan Tisdall Downes coming, to sort of book end, this series.
But hopefully what we wanna try and do is create momentum and create this, program for long term.
Nastasha: Mm-hmm.
Budgie: We wanna be able to create this system where we can invite chefs from across the globe , and locally to come in, cook their food, and create an ecosystem of, farmers and fishermen and, artisans to showcase their produce. So that's what I'm doing now, in El Nido. And hopefully yeah, this is the first of many of the curated events here.
Nastasha: Fantastic. And if there is anyone who , would like, to be part of this, could they reach out to you?
Budgie: Yeah. Certainly reach out to me. You know, we're in a planning process of, season two, so to speak. We've got a few people that we wanna talk to. We're open to suggestions and we're open to ideas. Obviously, um, budgets are limited. And, as you know, El Nido is extremely seasonal. And we need to work with that sort of seasonality. You know, it pretty much becomes a ghost town in August and
Nastasha: Yeah. Once the big tourist season's done.
Budgie: Yeah. So, we're certainly working on, this being an ongoing program, whether I'll be here, to, curate it physically or not is a, different story, but part of the other project is to be able to, work with the head chef here , and the team, to enable them to be able to continue on the work um, so yes, definitely reach out.
Nastasha: My warmest thanks again to Budgie Montoya for making the time to chat with us for this episode. Head to the links in the show notes to get in touch with him for more information on the guest chef program in El Nido. And of course, to stay tuned for his upcoming projects and dinners in London. He's on Instagram at budgie Montoya.
Theme music for this episode is by Crow wander with segment music by Eric and McGill Blue Dot Sessions and Podington Bear. Until next time, maraming salamat. Thank you for listening.